Loren Eckroth - a human communications expert - believes that when conversing with people we have an opportunity to bring out the best in them. To do so, we must act toward them as if we expect the best.  Our philosophy is aligned with the key approaches outlined below. These positive ways of viewing ourselves and respecting others can be used in the workplace and at home to achieve amazing results!

The Pygmalion Effect

When we act toward people as if we expect outstanding behavior from them, we are applying a principle known as the Pygmalion Effect. Widely validated by social science research, this principle says that as we communicate our expectations of people with various cues, they tend to respond to our cues by adjusting their behavior to match them.

A Related Principle of Dale Carnegie

Long before this research was done, human relations guru Dale Carnegie wrote, `Become genuinely interested in other people.` When we are genuinely interested in others, really curious about them, they feel respected and valued. Implied in our interest is the suggestion that they have a lot to offer. As we show our interest, they tend to become more interesting, more creative, and more capable.

Many of the cues we communicate to others are expressed during conversation but are non-verbal. For example, our facial expressions of interest and our level of enthusiasm as shown by body and voice. Still others are verbal, such as asking questions to draw out a person's ideas and by offering praise and encouragement.

Bi-Focal Vision

Many high achieving people have reported that along the way of their lives, some person has seen potential in them even when it was not obvious to others. That is, a teacher or coach or mentor had a sense of their potential, even if that potential was not readily apparent. For example, a young student from a poor background and education may be seen by a teacher to have a certain giftedness when others have written them off. Thus encouraged and supported, the student begins to excel. (The famous case of deaf and blind Helen Keller
working with her teacher Annie Sullivan is such an example.)

Bi-focal vision is a term that denotes our ability to see both the actual behavior and a person's potential within. When we act toward persons as if they are more than they appear to be on the surface, the potential within tends to emerge.

Conversational Behavior Flows from Our Attitudes

The simplest way to bring out the best in people is to hold an attitude of positive expectations. Instead of looking for what's missing, or what's wrong with a person, we can re-frame our expectations to look for what's positive. The management phrase, `Catch employees doing something right` captures the sense of this attitude.
Try Out The Principle

If you make a conscious choice to expect the best from others, you will tend to get it, from friends, family members, colleagues, and service people. Your behavior toward them, genuinely expressed, will begin to create the self-fulfilling prophecy that people are often more than they seem.

This article was written by Loren Ekroth ©2009, All rights reserved.

Loren Ekroth, Ph.D. is a specialist in human communication and a national expert on conversation for business and social life. His articles and programs strengthen critical communication skills for business and professional people.